Saina Nehwal’s recent thoughts on “strict” parenting have reignited a common debate. In an interview with Hauterfly, the former Badminton champion shared, “Bachon se jitna ho sake aap, friends ke tarah na rahe, unke saath strict rahe thoda bahut. Apna dikhaye ki aap parents hai, aur kitna unko aap thoda bahut control mei rakh sakte. Aap sochiye ki mere parents friends jaise hote, toh kya mai Olympic ka sapna ya podium ka sapna dekh sakti?”
For some, Nehwal’s stance on parenting may seem impractical in today’s scenario, where a flexible, comforting approach is prioritised. For others, who second her, a parent must strike a balance between soft and tough parenting to give a child the best of both worlds.
This indeed reignites an important question: how important is it for parents to discipline their children, ensuring their approach aligns well with their ward’s emotions?
According to Dr Pavitra Shankar, Associate Consultant, Psychiatry at Aakash Healthcare, the answer is not a simple yes or no. “Strict parenting is not a one-size-fits-all solution,” she explains. “Its impact depends heavily on a child’s temperament, developmental stage, and emotional environment.”
Why strictness works for some—and not others
Saina’s upbringing was rooted in structure, routine and clearly defined expectations—elements often credited for her resilience and competitive edge, explains Dr Shankar. But she cautions against universalising that experience. “Children who are naturally goal-oriented or resilient may thrive under firm boundaries,” she says. “However, sensitive or anxiety-prone children can experience the same strictness as overwhelming pressure.”
Psychological research supports this nuance. Younger children, Dr Shankar notes, need warmth and reassurance alongside boundaries. Adolescents, on the other hand, require a delicate balance between structure and autonomy. “When rules don’t evolve with age, strictness can quickly turn into control,” she adds.
Discipline vs Fear
One of the most crucial distinctions parents must make is between discipline that guides and discipline that intimidates, says Dr Shankar. “The line is crossed when a child starts complying out of fear rather than understanding,” says Dr Shankar. “If discipline leads to chronic anxiety, avoidance, or emotional withdrawal, it’s no longer healthy.”
She adds, “High expectations must coexist with emotional safety. Children should feel that their worth isn’t tied solely to performance.”
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Motivation or Burnout?
“Over-control can erode intrinsic motivation,” Dr Shankar explains. “Children may achieve external success but struggle with burnout, anxiety, or an inability to self-direct once parental oversight disappears.”
What makes elite athletes like Saina an exception, she says, is their internal motivation. “Discipline works when children understand the ‘why’ behind expectations and feel supported in their journey. Fear-based compliance may deliver short-term results, but it rarely sustains long-term well-being.”
So what can parents learn from Saina Nehwal’s story?
Rather than endorsing strict parenting outright, Dr Shankar advocates for authoritative parenting—a style that combines firm boundaries with empathy and dialogue. “Clear routines, consistency, and accountability are important,” she says, “but so is listening, validating emotions, and allowing age-appropriate choices.”
Praising effort over outcomes is key, she adds. “When children are celebrated for persistence rather than just results, discipline becomes internalised rather than imposed.”
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DISCLAIMER:This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.
