(Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)
Someone please call the authorities. Beasley Media A crime has taken place in the coffee area of Philadelphia. Some crazy lunatics have brought flavored coffee into the kitchen. Not even the usual flavors of flavored coffees like hazelnut (again, it’s terrible. It’s a weird concoction of double vanilla cinnamon because plain old vanilla cinnamon just wasn’t enough. No reeds and a 5 lb bag (!) flavored coffee was held at WMGK/WMMR/BENFM/WXTU radio stations.
Every day, when employees enter this shared coffee area, they step into a wall of smells best described as someone trying a recipe for cinnamon rolls and failing. This mocha gang decided to cut off the top of the bag and leave it wide open so the bag giant (remember it’s 5 lbs) can’t be closed. “What a hell of a freshness! This bag will stay open for weeks, but the cinnamon will seep into the nostrils of everyone who comes near this area! **maniacal laughter**” -Coffee Scammer Possibly quoted from.
Due to the strong aroma of this flavored coffee, staff picking up the coffee must be given a smell test. The test ensures the safety of other employees, so coffee drinkers shouldn’t be surprised to spit out hot coffee as the cinnamon-vanilla flavor hits their taste buds. This smell test can pose another problem…if nose hairs, eyelashes, eyebrows, mustaches or, worst of all, boogers fall off the smelly person’s face and into the coffee pot!? Adding to the long wrap sheet that flavored Java jabroni probably already has. Can you imagine if you were the one who put someone else’s booger in your coffee?!?!?
If any sniffing criminals are reading this, please let me know, “The wheels of justice spin slowly, but they spin well.”
