Inviting 500-1000 guests for a wedding celebration is no surprise if you live in India. Asking an Indian parent to cut down the guest list is almost akin to committing the worst order of sin. Kareena Kapoor Khan, daughter of the iconic Kapoor clan, dared to do what most of us are scared to even think of – she asked for an intimate wedding, instead of a gala soiree.
During an episode of The Great Indian Kapil Show, her father, Randhir Kapoor, and sister Karisma spilt fun secrets about their family, including when Kareena wanted a low-key wedding with Saif Ali Khan and the hilarious conversation that ensued.
“Jab Kareena ne bola ki main shaadi karna chahti hoon, maine bola ek jashan karte hai. Usne bola nahi, main shaadi karna chahti hoon sirf 100 logo ke andar. Toh maine usko bola Kapoor khud 350 hain. Bambai mein jo pathhar uthao, usme se ek Kapoor hoga, aur actor banna chahta hoga,” he recalled, to which Kareena had jokingly replied, “Agar aapko aur log bulaane ho toh apni shaadi mein bulao.”
(“When Kareena told me she wants to get married, I suggested we have a lavish celebration. She said no, and said that she wants to get married with only 100 people in attendance. So I told her, the Kapoors alone are 350 strong. Pick up any rock in Bombay and it will be a Kapoor, one that wants to be an actor. How can we call just 100 people?” he recalled, to which Kareena had jokingly replied, “If you want to call more people, you can invite them to your own wedding.”)
The Kapoor family (Source: Instagram/@neetu54)
No matter what parents say, making decisions for yourlife’s milestones, like marriage and other significant decisions, is crucial for personal empowerment and mental well-being.
Navigating such conversations with parents
Gurleen Baruah, occupational psychologist and executive coach at That Culture Thing, said that as adults, we have the autonomy to make choices that align with our values, feelings, and circumstances. While society may impose norms for achieving certain milestones, like how one should throw one’s wedding, or when to settle down, and start a family, it is important to remember that these are, after all, human-made constructs.
Parents might believe calling more people to a wedding is a marker for success, butRima Bhandekar, Senior Psychologist at Mpower, Aditya Birla Education Trust, stated that linking one’s self-worth to external metrics of success and what is trending on social media can be detrimental to mental health, relationships, and finances in the long run.
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“It can lead to anxiety and a mindset in which the person rigidly believes that their special moments in life and their worth are fixed by metrics like the number of people attending, venue, decorations, or menu catered to achieving social media virality, which can fluctuate anytime. This creates self-doubts, and failures feel too personal, and gradually the sense of identity becomes shallow and fragile,” she explained.
Choosing to celebrate your special day the way you want it to can be empowering, yet daunting. Pushing against centuries of conditioning and societal judgment is not easy, but it is essential to remember that change does not happen overnight. To let go of this mindset, Bhandekar suggested noticing where attachment to external factors creates a void in your life.
“When things do not go as planned, treat yourself with compassionate thoughts. Quit measuring yourself in the moment through someone else’s parameters of success; this is your life journey point, and focus on creating memories on your terms,” she said, while encouraging you to foster a support circle where your uniqueness is celebrated and valued.
