Raj Kundra’s latest interview revealed many unknown facets about the businessman, including traits that make him a ‘green flag’. During the conversation, Raj Kundra revealed that he and his wife, Shilpa Shetty, ensure they have Friday date nights together because it’s essential to keep one’s relationship alive after children enter the picture.
“We have our Friday night date night, we – husband and wife – go out. I say, ‘Now it’s mummy’s turn, beta‘. Main humesha ye bolta hoon. Indian parents tend to priortise their children too much. I want to say this to everyone, it is very important to realise that your kids will grow up and leave one day, but you have to nurture your relationship. You have to prioritise your partner first,” he toldFilmgyaan.
Making time for each other in a relationship is not just a luxury; it is a priority. It sends a clear message to children that love involves more than just duty; it also includes joy, connection, and companionship. Couples who invest in their relationship are not sacrificing for their children; they are offering them a stronger, more secure family foundation.
Shruti Padhye, Senior Psychologist, Mpower Aditya Birla Education Trust, said: “I frequently notice that many Indian parents, despite having good intentions, tend to place their children’s needs above everything else, which can cause their own relationship to suffer. This tendency often comes from love and cultural beliefs that encourage sacrificing for the sake of children. However, this imbalance can gradually weaken the marital bond and negatively affect the overall family environment.”
She added that when couples stop focusing on each other, they are likely to experience emotional distance, communication problems, and sometimes even feelings of resentment. “As a result, parenting can become purely transactional, centered around tasks such as homework, meals, and schedules, while the emotional connection and companionship between parents diminish,” said Padhye.
However, it is essential to note that children don’t always benefit from this overemphasis on them. What they truly need is not constant attention, but the assurance that they see their parents maintaining a loving and affectionate relationship.
Simple gestures like hugs, holding hands, or a touch can greatly help keep emotional connection alive. (Source: Freepik)
Why is balance important?
According to Padhye, stronger marriages lead to stronger families. Studies consistently show that the happiness and connection in a marriage directly impact the quality of parenting. When couples feel supported and connected, they are better able to handle the stress of parenting with more patience and resilience.
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Children learn by observing: Kids absorb messages about relationships from what they see at home. When parents display affection, laughter, and teamwork, it helps children form healthier views of love and relationships.
Prevents parent burnout: When parents only focus on caring for their children, they may lose sight of their individual identities and their bond as partners. This can lead to stress, frustration, and emotional detachment.
Promotes long-term relationship health: Once children grow up and leave home, couples who have neglected their relationship often face feelings of emptiness or disconnection. Maintaining the marital relationship helps prevent this drift.
How can couples strengthen their bond while raising children?
Padhye suggested some tips to help keep the spark alive:
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Plan quality time together: Just as you plan for school activities or medical appointments, you should intentionally schedule time for each other—whether it’s weekly date nights, shared hobbies, or even short coffee breaks.
Establish small connection rituals: Daily routines like taking a morning walk, checking in about each other’s day, or having meaningful conversations in the evening (instead of just using screens) can help strengthen emotional bonds.
Talk beyond tasks: It’s common for conversations to revolve around bills, schedules, and chores. Setting aside time to discuss dreams, fears, or lighter topics can help restore intimacy.
Share caregiving responsibilities: Dividing household and parenting duties fairly can reduce tension and give both partners space to be companions, not just co-parents.
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Maintain physical intimacy and affection: Simple gestures like hugs, holding hands, or a touch can greatly help keep emotional connection alive.
Seek help when necessary: Getting support from extended family, babysitters, or playgroups can create space for couples to reconnect without feeling guilty.
Professional help: If feelings of disconnection are deep, therapy can provide a safe space for couples to rebuild communication and intimacy.
