Most importantly, it is critical to cling to our faith in togetherness. Emotions are deceptive, unpredictable, and often irrational. If we rely on our emotions—or lack of—to get us through the grieving process, we have short-changed ourselves and thus, short-changed our partner.
This is a time when you can come together around central truths from Scripture as it relates to death. Ideally, your situation of grief is regarding someone with whom you have confidence is with the Lord. If this is the case, then you can cling together knowing the eternal promise of being reunited. Grief becomes less of a desolate desperation, and more of an ache while we wait.
If your loss is accompanied by the unknown of the deceased’s spiritual state, grief can take on a very different impact. The sweetness of promise can be shadowed by fear, guilt, and even anger. In this time, clinging to each other and the Lord with faith in God’s justice and grace is critical. Lay your burdens at His feet and allow Him to carry them.
Grief is a complex beast. There are no perfect how-tos or step-by-steps that will be adequate to get you through and keep your marriage strong. This is why it is of utmost importance that you draw together and hold on tight to your faith. This way, you allow your partner the room they need to process grief, and you allow your partner to move on with life even if you’re not ready to.
Sharing grief can be a beautiful and precious experience if you come at it with the idea that you will walk through it together, even if your map to get through it takes you on different paths. Grief can be a glue to a marriage. It can bind you in the uniqueness of shared pain, hurt, and trauma in a way you can’t share with anyone else.
So, in the end, as difficult as it is, embrace grief in all its shapes and sizes. Most of all, do not abandon your partner in the depths of their deepest need.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/LordHenriVoton
