3 min readNew DelhiUpdated: Apr 15, 2026 06:03 PM IST
In a candid interview with Esquire India, Milind Soman reflected on a feeling that many young people silently struggle with: confusion. He shared, “Young men are always confused. I was very confused when I was 17 or 18. I didn’t know what to do with my life. Girls are confusing, money is confusing, jobs are confusing…Everybody, not just when you are young, but as you progress in life, should ask themselves this question about where you want to be, where do you see yourself, what kind of do you want, and are you moving in that direction or not. And are you moving in that direction or not. So once you are clear about where you want to go, then you pursue that, then you will be less confused as you move in that direction.”
His words resonate deeply in a time where choices are endless, but clarity feels scarce. To understand this better, we turn to Dr Pavitra Shankar, Associate Consultant Psychiatrist, who explains why confusion is both natural and sometimes problematic.
Is confusion in youth normal?
According to Dr Shankar, some level of confusion is not just common, it’s expected. “At this stage of life, the brain is still developing its ability to plan and make decisions. It is completely normal to feel unsure and to explore different paths,” she says.
However, there is a line where confusion can begin to interfere with daily functioning. “It becomes a concern when it starts affecting day-to-day life—when a person feels constantly stressed or struggles to make even small decisions.”
Can self-questioning actually help?
Milind Soman emphasises repeatedly asking yourself where you want to go in life. Psychologically, this practice can be powerful—if done right. “Self-questioning helps build self-awareness, but it needs to be honest and consistent,” explains Dr Shankar.
She suggests simple but effective tools, “Writing down your thoughts, identifying your strengths, and asking questions like ‘What is important to me?’ or ‘What do I enjoy?’ can gradually bring clarity.”
Why today’s youth feel more overwhelmed
While confusion isn’t new, the intensity of it has changed. Today’s young adults face multiple pressures simultaneously—career, finances, relationships, and social expectations. “In the past, life choices were relatively limited. Today, there are too many options and expectations,” says Dr Shankar.
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This abundance, she notes, often leads to anxiety. “Young people tend to overthink and develop a fear of making the wrong decision, which increases confusion rather than resolving it.”
What actually works
Even when people gain clarity, acting on it can feel overwhelming. That’s where practical habits come in. “Once you know what you want, the key is to start small,” advises Dr Shankar.
She emphasises breaking goals into manageable steps. “Trying to do everything at once can feel paralysing. Small, consistent actions help build confidence and create a sense of progress. Routine also plays a crucial role. Consistency, even in small efforts, helps reduce anxiety and reinforces direction.”
